Welcome to what may be perhaps the last Bangkok Gazette. As some of you may already know, the Gazette Staff will be leaving Thailand in Mid-August and will no long be able to report on Bangkok. We appreciate the interest and devotion of our readers (and wish to apologize to some for the unfulfilled promise of Bangkok Gazette Visors). Ko Pha-Ngan: Some of you may already be familiar with this island in Thailand. It has been featured on various cable television shows for its "legendary" full moon party. We stayed well clear of that mess and headed to the northeast coast to a very quiet bay called Hat Sadet. I almost went insane on the 3-hour boat ride to the island with the awful conversations from some terrible neo-hippies who "knew it all." Not to mention the basically naked Newsweek reading guy (gauzy pants turned into cut offs were all he was wearing) with the hairy back going to the Yoga retreat. Yeah he offended everybody. We stayed at the Plaa's Than Sadet Huts. They were basically little huts built into a cliff side that looked over the bay. We read that the food was good there and it really was. Plaa was an excellent cook her Squid Salad was to die for (very spicy with lots of celery greens and pan roasted peanuts) she also had a stash of red French Wine that was, at $8 a bottle, a good value. She gave us a free one on Maureen's Birthday. The restaurant was on top of the cliff (huff huff) but had a big deck with an amazing view. There were also about 8 rascally puppies running around the deck so there was always some entertainment. Click here or on the photo to view a video So we spent some relaxing time here gazing at the water from our deck, reading, swimming, etc. There was another bungalow operation down on the beach call the Mai Pen Rai (meaning "That's OK" or "We're cool"). We spend some time there enjoying the smooth Reggae vibe and the Thai Cowboy atmosphere. We needed to relax. And we relaxed. We were not as relaxed as the very tan hippie Swedish couple who would bake in the sun all day and then drink wine in the evening and play cards saying not a word (since they never spoke, not even to each other, we don't even know if they actually were Swedish - we're just guessing - they had a sort of Swedish "vibe"). They were very relaxed. On our way back from the beach, we hung out in a little town while waiting for our train back to Bangkok. Near the train station we watched a Dakraw tournament (see video clip). It was amazing. Dakraw is like volleyball but you play it with your feet (they even serve with their feet). We watched until dark and then got some food and met the owner of this truck (he caught me taking photos of it) we chatted for a while and he invited us to dinner but we had already eaten. We think the guy on the front of the truck was Al Pacino as Scorpio but the guy on the back? Can you help us? Who is this guy? Two Rock Shows: Rock Show #1: Local Rockers The Eastbound Downers were having a record release show/party at a Pleng Pua Chewit (songs for life aka Thai Cowboy Folk music) bar called Dallas Cowboy down in Siam Square. The place itself is pretty amazing -- two floors of cowboy kitsch that has been around gathering dust and cigarette damage for ages. Makes Linda's in Seattle look like a Disneyland Frontierworld theme bar. Lots of taxidermy and memorabilia. It has two floors of bottle breaking and stool tossing fun. Would be interested to check the joint out when the Pleng Pua Chewit is going on. Eastbound are a pretty decent Emo-Rock Radioheady kind of band. Bought their CD and its pretty good. But I was most taken with the opening band. "Samurai LOUD!" (Maureen thought they were called Samurai Lao - which might be a better name?) Anyway these guys had STYLE. Drummer in white t-shirt and wearing a Bruce Lee as Kato Green Hornet style mask. Lead Singer. Wearing a fake fur buffalo horn hat with a pirate skull and cross bones on it. He also and a silver shimmery jacket and a white feather boa. Young Bass Player: Wearing a nice suit like clearly tailored for him - but his face had some very poorly and garishly applied blush. And lipstick. (I caught him getting dolled up in the toilet and snapped a photo). Guitar player: wearing ripped jeans, a girl's white gypsy peasant top and a similar makeup job to the bass player. Keyboardist: He had one of those keyboards you sling over your shoulder like the guy from Men at Work. He was in a black and white hounds tooth jacket and I think a piano key tie. Needless to say they were very entertaining to watch and they had a great teaser closing song called....Samurai Loud...He would say ok we're finished this is our last song...goodnight....then scream "Samurai Loud!!!!!!" and then everybody would go crazy....this was almost 1/2 of their playing time. I loved it. So did Maureen. At the end of the song she turned to me and said "Six years of graduate school, all leading up to this moment." Rock Show #2: I came across this show and downloaded their flyer. Godzilla on the flyer and a band from Japan called Vivisick? How could I resist? The flyer said 3pm so I got there around 3:45 listened to the sound check and then they kicked everybody out (real show begins at 5pm I guess). It was an all ages show. The thing I noticed once the bands started were these two pretty big Thai guys in the audience. One had a Black Sabbath t-shirt on and the other guy had an EMT jacket, weird arm bands and from time to time he would put on this weird and scary red mask and kind of go crazy. There we also a group of younger kids (they looked like they were 6th graders) but they were probably between 15-18yo. The Black Sabbath man made these taunting motions and then these kids would leap out of the crowd and then they would take flying leaps into the air and crash against each other. This happened a lot. He even did it to me and so I crashed into him. Ouch. Later EMT Red Mask man began picking up these kids and then spin then wildly around cradling them in his arms and then lifting them over his head he'd toss them over the heads of the crowd where they body surfed on top of everybody. He did this a lot. Not to be outdone I thought I'd show him a trick or too and leaped towards him and then linking elbows we spun around and around until very dizzy. He liked it and we became the best of friends. Vivisick was pretty amazing....they played 18 songs in 20 minutes non-stop energy.....wild....got the bruises to prove it. Click here (or the flyer) to listen to a sample The Embassy Party The other week Maureen and I went to the US Embassy for a special reception for Fulbright Scholars celebrating the announcement of the Thai Scholars going to the United States this year. Red wine and Spinach dip, etc. blah blah blah. Nice to meet you. How long have YOU been in Thailand, etc. Then an guy comes up and starts to chat. I give him by card. I get his card. He then tells us that he used to be the American Services guy with the embassy (basically to help American who get into trouble here). How was that, I ask (knowing it would be a pretty difficult and stressful job). The conversation quickly became rather morbid. I won't bore you with the stories of the various Viagra heart attacks (he starts). But seriously guys NEVER stick you head out of a window of a bus a train whatever. I knew a guy. He was on a train. His head hit a bridge. He'll never be the same. Motorcycles: Death on wheels. And another thing: RATS AND SNAKES. I don't know what these people are doing or what they are on because you really have to be bugging a snake to get bit but Rats and Snakes can be a real problem. He was rattled and he scared us. Rats and snakes, I said over and over, Rats and Snakes...mumble mumble...rats and snakes..... Purchase of the month: Chinese Music, Butter Lover. An MP3 DVD filled with fantastic traditional Chinese music ranging from Massage Parlor Elevator Music worthy soft jams to some almost Delta blues (but way sloooowed down) twangy tracks. Songs include: King Chu Duffs His Armours, Spring is coming over, Ten cups of win, Ambush from all sides, and Liquormaina. Good Stuff. Restaurant Reviews: Monkey Restaurant: I have wanted to try this restaurant for ages. It is a little further away from our house so we just went to it last week. I discovered it while wandering around the neighborhood several months ago. It caught my eye because it had a large number of monkey statues/monkey stuff in the front of the restaurant. I am the year of the monkey and I like monkeys (well their likeness anyway). And it had lots of strings of triangular banners featuring my favorite local beer, Beer Leo. So it was a pretty pleasant night, not too hot, and our neighborhood has a bit of a leafy greeny feel to it so it was fun to wander around. We looked in on a bunch of restaurants but nothing seemed quite right so I said let's check out the Monkey Restaurant. OK. We approach and it seems pretty dark, but there are some twinkling Christmas Lights so it looks like it is open. It is! It is very dark in the restaurant. But there is a very bright (1/2 black light) lit stage with a phosphorescent backdrop painting of a traditional river scene in Thailand. Boats filled with hawker's wares. Wooden houses lining the river. Jumping fish. Good times. Good times. There is a 60ish man singing (he has a pretty good voice) and a guy playing the organ. We order our food. It's a little too dark to read the menu so we just order some usual Thai dishes. Then things get a little weird. The man stops singing and goes behind a tree to have a smoke. Then from the booth behind us a woman appears and goes up on the stage and writes her name on a board. She is wearing a split up the thigh cocktail dress. Another woman goes up and puts her name up -- she is wearing a very short skirt and a shirt that spells "Kinky Chicken" in rhinestones. The women take turns singing, they seem very "professional" and even join some of the other customers at their tables. Then Mo points out this "door" to a backroom where you can see shadows moving about on the cream colored curtains. Waiters go in and out carrying beer. More singing. Blue sequin studded cocktail dress and 6 inch heels? Yes. Our food comes. We eat. Listen to some songs. We finish. On the way out I say, that was ok the food wasn't bad. Maureen replies, Yeah, the food wasn't too bad FOR BROTHEL FOOD! Yes, I took my wife to eat dinner at a brothel. And that has become our new standard: (better than, as good as, or worse than) Brothel Food. Elvis's Restaurant: On our street just past the Chinese Temple is an old wooden "sell everything" corner store. Months ago, I stopped in to buy some Beer Leo. The vendor was a very odd man and he asked us (in Thai) how do you say in English "He is an Elvis Impersonator"? We tell him "He is an Elvis Impersonator." He thanks us and sends us on our way. Weird I think. I go back the next week and he asks me the same question. As my friend An says, I do not thing he is 100%. Anyway, next to the shop is a little restaurant. And the owner has a 50s style slick back ducktail hair style. We've been calling him Elvis (we assumed that the vendor was referring to his neighbor). Elvis is a real friendly guy who really pushes the roasted pork neck (his specialty). He has a nice display of his wares on ice out in the front of his place. Various fish and disemboweled frogs. I don't think a lot of foreigners go into Elvis's and every time we go in people are pretty excited to talk to us. Oh that's great, thank you for showing me your Thai Army Identification. And just tonight Grandma was hitting the Beer Singha and the Karaoke Machine with a vengeance. She was a little too chatty but pretty sweet. We finish our meal. Thank Elvis. Then the "Elvis Impersonator sales clerk" appears out of nowhere and clutches me by the arm. He is holding a really beat up tape deck. He says "Hello. Listen, (in English) this is me doing the best that I can." He presses the play button. But it doesn't work. It starts a bit and then makes a warble sound. He says sorry and pushes it again. It is playing "correctly" but doesn't sound much better. I can tell there is some kind of beat to it but can't make out anything else...then the voice. .....the voice of a cassette tape run over by an 18 wheeler played through a cardboard tube. "It is me doing the best I can do" he repeats. "yes it is I say. Thank you for doing your best." And we move on. Maybe Elvis is not Elvis at all, but it is this guy, the one who sells stuff, the one with the terrible sounding tape deck. Maybe. Maybe.