Greetings Gazette Readers: Welcome to the Songkhran Tamboon Double Bumper Issue of the Bangkok Gazette. The staff has been very busy and is very tired so this will have to last you for a while. We should return with a more typical issue next time with more movie and restaurant reviews. Happy Thai New Year, The Gazette Staff Songkhran: Songkhran, the Thai new year, is a 5 day water splashing filled weekend celebrated in Thailand in April. Traditionally Songkhran is a time to honor your parents and grandparents in a ritual that involves pouring fragrant water over the hands of your revered elders. More recently, it has evolved (or some would say devolved) into an all out countrywide water fight. Kids with super soakers, Grandma's with super-duper soakers. Buckets of ice water. And bag after bag of baby powder. We decided to go upcountry - it is a little bit tamer and more good-natured than in Bangkok. The thing that you need to know about Songkhran is that it is also a time where everyone (and yes pretty much everyone) goes home to see their families. And if they are working in Bangkok they are supposed to bring back gifts/commodities for their families and friends: motorcycles, washing machines, mattresses, money, etc. We waited a little too long to buy our tickets, and by the time we did all of the trains and busses were full, so our only option was to fly (about 1 hour instead of the 8 or so by train or bus). We get to the airport. Plane is two hours late. We get a snack. We go to the terminal. When we get to the gate a man tells us that we need to change planes to Thai Air because something is wrong with our plane. He leads us out of the terminal to the passenger pick up area where he points to a grey van. Maureen explains that that is not a plane. They wanted to see our plane tickets. Then they said please board the van. The van was very full. They explained that Songkhran is a very busy time of year. We explain that is why we bought plane tickets! Oh they said. Van Leaves. Another Van arrives to take more passengers. Eventually, we decide to go with the van plan. The first part of the van ride was actually pretty fun. Even though there was a massive traffic jam, I enjoyed watching all of the people and products packed into pick-ups and fruit trucks all heading up-country towards home. Some were dancing and drinking and it looked like a big crazy road trip caravan. There was one stretch of the road (it was dark by now) lined with about 2 miles of brightly lit fruit stalls on after another. Watermelon seemed to be a big item. Many hours pass inside a dark vehicle. Finally we arrive in Buriram Town and everyone gets out except for us. (The van is supposed to take us to the airport - 30 miles outside of town - where our friends are going to meet us). It is a little after midnight now. Once we start to leave the town, the driver notices his fuel gauge. Oh the red light has come on and we are almost out of gas. We wander the sleepy streets of Buriram for a while and then the driver decides to go for it. Maureen and I ponder why, at the four gigantic gas stations we stopped at to go to the bathroom, the driver did not purchase some additional fuel. Along the road we travel past many very closed and very dark gas stations. The driver stops to talk to a policeman. They don't have any gas. (I don't think police usually have extra gas). We continue. The road gets darker. The red gas light seems to get brighter and brighter. The burning rice fields in the distance add to the tension. Then a sign for the airport appears out of the darkness. We arrive at the empty airport 8 hours late with the van choking and wheezing the last 500 meters. And we are very happy to see our friends. Ton-Bai On the first day, we started out by driving around Chumponburi and the surrounding villages throwing water of people from the back of the pickup. After we did that for a while we went to visit Ton-Bai, the elephant, in the nearby elephant village (advertised as the "Jumbo Village" at the Buriram airport - not that we would know that until the trip back). Earlier, Maureen had told me that Ton-Bai had died because the owner had died, and that Ton-Bai had died of loneliness and grief. We didn't quite get the Thai/Lao right on that one. Yes the owner had died but the local doctor (in charge of the village health clinic) had Ton-Bai in his back yard. Ton-Bai is an absolutely amazing elephant. He is huge with fantastic long tusks, really great high-personality ears, and very long legs - even for a pachyderm. We fed him most of an entire banana tree. We watched as he picked up portions of the tree with his trunk and crushed them in his mouth. Then he would soften the fibrous parts by whacking them against his leg with his trunk. Ton-Bai is famous around the village as he has been in a number of Beer Chang (Elephant Beer) commercials and made promotional appearances as the "Beer Chang" spokes-model-elephant. The doctor said he's not sure what he can do for Ton-Bai. He is 36 years old: the same age as me. He is very angry and lonely, his trainer was more of a life partner than just an owner (elephants and their mahouts bond for life - typically a boy gets a baby elephant to train when he is around 15). From what I understand, he (Ton-Bai) can fly into unpredictable rages, and so is considered too dangerous to do much of anything now. Pi-Jum (whom you will remember from Gazette's past), often stops to visit Ton-Bai when she's in the area, apparently he likes it when you call his name, it calms him. Pi-Jum says she likes to go and just sit and watch him and talk to him - when you call his name he knows you are there and seems better somehow. Listen to them calling TonBai's Name See a Video of TonBai Water Water Everywhere Morning on the first "official" day of the Songkran festival. Had a big breakfast of green bean red curry to fortify ourselves for the coming day. For kids, Songkhran is kind of like the combination of Halloween and Christmas morning. You could almost hear kids all over the country nagging their parentsŠcan we play with water nowŠcan we play with water nowŠ.in the way western kids might beg to eat their Halloween candy or to open their Christmas presents. After filing up two large garbage cans with water and acquiring and ape mask, we collected our water playing group which consisted of Maureen and myself, Fern and Froid (Pi-Jum's daughters) two of their friends, and two younger cousins ages 10 and 12. There are two main elements to playing Songkhran. 1). Soaking people with water by any means available -- hoses, super soakers, cups of water, or the big bucket douse. 2). Smearing baby powder on your face and the faces of others. The second element took we a while to "get" as if you resist you tend to get whacked in the head. If you don't, they sweetly wipe it on your face. It's nice. The powder thing is also a little bit of a flirty thing as men and women don't usually touch each other in public - so when a group of 20 teenage boys surrounded the truck it was pretty crazy with the girls acting with mock outrage and the boys asking if they had boyfriends. [I was in the cab of the truck for the first part of the day taking video footage and Pi-Jum was clucking like a mother-hen during these moments. According to her, the youngsters are much bolder now then in her day. At one point she even had Pi-Kiat get out and play the heavy! - Maureen] First stop Satuk, a slightly bigger town than Chumponburi (where we were staying). We hit the main drag next to the public market and it was total pandemonium. Trucks filled with people in crazy hats and the streets lined with people with garbage cans filled with ice water. Anyone on a motorcycle was in real trouble as it is pretty easy to douse the rider with a big bucket of water. We're really wet by now. The back bed of the truck has an inch of water in it. The ape mask is pretty uncomfortable by now so I give it up and Fern wears it for a while. We head to Buriram next, an even bigger townŠ.we "play water" some more and then stop by Ajan (teacher) Bob's for refreshments (deep fried pork balls with sweet sour tamarind dipping sauce) and green mangos (and some beer) and to refill our cisternsŠour next destination the provincial capital Surin. On the way to Surin, the Police stop us and make us dump out all of our water for reasons unclear. Fern is able to hide some water so we have something to fight back with when we get to town. Once in Surin the madness continues. We stop near by a park and they have a "pond" filled with green and not too great smelling water. We fill up, lugging the brackish stuff bucket by bucket to the truck. Many others are doing the sameŠYum. The sun is starting to go down and it is time to head homeŠwe stop in Satuk (I was almost dry! got splashed again) bought some fish and vegetables for dinner and had an iced coffee. Dinner then sleep. The next day both Maureen and I felt like we had been hit by a bus. Absolute exhaustion. Breaking into the Wat A few days later, I went over to An's house to visit with him (readers will remember An from the Johnny-Walker in the back-of-the-pick-up-truck incident). He and his dad were mixing cement to build a new sink. I helped carry some things and then An and I went to eat some noodles. The noodle ladies asked me if I could find a wife for An as he is not married yet. An wanted to take me to the Wat to see the new temple paintings. Once at the wat, the monks told us that they had lost the key to the padlock to the door of the main sanctuary, so they gave An a hammer and a screwdriver and told him to bust open the lock. (See video). An's 8 year old cousin Sua (Tiger) also tagged along as he likes to make sounds inside the echoy building. See An try to break the lock We're eating the head because the neck isn't finished yet While Maureen was out interviewing taxi drivers, Pi-Jum drove me over to Ajan Bob's house to hang out and listen to music. Ajan Bob is a fun guy and he studied in Wisconsin so he speaks English well. He is also very serious about music and has a student band that he "manages" called "Stone Free." We listened to some Neil Young and the Rolling Stones and Jimi Hendrix. Later, after running errands, Pi-Jum came back with a snack some kind of grilled meat. I asked what it was and Pi-Jum said "It is the Meat of the Pig Head - I wanted to eat the neck but it wasn't cooked yet." I now understand the meaning of chewing the fat. Ants When it is hot out, it is really hot. And when it is really hot the ants search for water and roam the countryside. They also roam into the house and get into your bed and bite you and some people are sensitive to their bites and get really big welts [Maureen] and then some of the ants like to go inside of someone's laptop computer and when you turn on the computer ants start coming out of the keyboard and so someone had to smoke them out by running the computer till it got hot and more and more ants came out and as you wipe them with some tissue to kill them they bite you back and you swear a lot and you say to your wife don't talk to me I don't want to be distracted from my main mission which is KILLING THE ANTS KILLING ALL OF THE ANTS because it is war - it is really a battle - then you say screw this and you wrap the laptop in plastic and tape it up - ants need air right? - we all need fresh air, clean air. Computer seems to be doing fine but, whoa, that was really stressful. [I'll say. - Maureen] Tamboon: While we up in Isaan for the Songkhran festival, Maureen went out with her assistant to several villages where there might be a lot of taxi drivers home from Bangkok for the holiday. At one of the villages, Maureen found out that the villagers who work in Bangkok had organized a special Tamboon (merit making trip-usually to raise money for the village temple) from Bangkok to the village and they asked us if we would like to come along. Sure! For a flash video overview of the experience click here 4.2MB At 7pm on the appointed day we leave the house, get into a taxi and head to a karaoke bar in Chinatown which is the meeting point for everyone going up on the Tamboon. [As usual, we never would've found the place without Aw (my assistant) - she is like my own personal MapQuest of Thailand - Maureen]. After sitting around for a while, we are told it is time to board the bus. This is no ordinary bus. It is a tricked out karaoke Thai party bus. The outside of the bus was covered with a large airbrushed mural of a Native American Chief with a large feathered headdress. Mixed into the mural were various Heavy Metal looking Japanese style cartoon characters with spiky hair and spiky leather jackets. The back of the bus had an elf boy "hugging" a plaid skirt wearing elf girl [or something - the elf boy appeared to be wearing a postman's uniform? - Maureen]. While the outside of the bus didn't really have a coherent theme, the inside of the bus was decidedly "Winnie the Pooh and Crazed Panda" themed. The first thing that I noticed though when I got inside the bus was all of the stuff attached to the ceiling. This bus didn't have air conditioning so about 16 rotating fans were mounted to the ceiling. In addition there were many police siren style rotating party lights of various sizes and colors. As there was no bathroom on the bus, the back seat was really more like a big booth that you might have at a bar (only without a table) behind which was a wall of bass bone rattling speakers whose metal speaker cover had a dancing Tiger and Pooh in a puffy Rasta like hat. Conga drums and a collection of cymbals were also along for the ride. Our seats were conveniently located in the last row of "normal" bus chairs so it was easy for us to hear the music. Its around 9pm now and we are hitting the road. We drive for about 30 minutes and then we stop along side a big road (still in Bangkok). Then a group of youths 18-22? board the bus and take over on the drums. The hot teen look right now is a white dress shirt (un-tucked) and a skinny necktie with jeans that have a really big turned inside out cuff at the bottom [and chuck-taylors - very mod really - Maureen]. It is starting to get hot inside of the bus and the dancing teenagers add a locker room-worthy stench. I decide to go outside and see what's going on. Apparently there is a caravan of 3 buses going up and I think they are waiting for one of them to arrive or something. (Hard to figure out). Some of the guys from my bus call me over and I go and sit with them. We trade names, ages, nationality, etc. and then they give me a cut off bottom of a small water bottle with Sang Som (Thai rum) in it. Now the party really starts. Drums come off the bus. I give one of the teenagers some money to go to the 7-11 to buy some rum and ice for the group. They are very grateful and we soon have become the fastest and bestest of friends. Drums are played and there's singing and dancing. A cart appears selling different kinds of meatballs on sticks to the hungry bus-waiting masses. After about three hours of this the third bus arrives and we all get back into the bus. By now it is a little bit after midnight. The party moves inside the bus but now we have the advantage of the flashing lights and the Pooh Master Blaster 2000 sound system. Drums. Cymbals. It is so loud! I'm now in the back seat and everyone is pretty floppy but they are still drumming and singing and dancing. I'm fed more whiskey. Then hands appear holding an ice cube offering it to me. Do I eat it? Put it on my neck? I guess I eat it. Then hands appear holding little bumpy balls offering it to me. Is it candy? Is it herbal medicine? I guess I eat it. At 2:30 we stop at a gas station and I eat a bowl of noodles. It is a good thing that I know something about traditional male Thai drinking culture as there is a lot of touching involved - arms over each other, hand holding, and yeah a little bit of playful ass pinching. Its about 6am by now and I decide to go back to my seat and try to sleep, which I do for about 90 minutes - the bus stops - good morning Neung tells me and hands me the drinking cup. Breakfast? After the whiskey they give me some green tamarind. I guess it is good to have with whiskey especially in the morning. It is incredibly sour and green (on the inside) and is kinda crunchy and juicy like a super tart granny smith apple. We stop to pee and stretch nearby a Wat (temple) that has lots of monkeys in it. I don't see any monkeys. There are a lot of taxis though [Yay! - Maureen]. Finally we arrive - "We're here!" everyone shouts (in Lao of course). Everybody gets off the bus at the entrance to the village and they bring down the money tree bucket to carry to the Wat. The procession to the Wat goes through the village and grows in numbers as we get closerŠI have no idea how far we walked but it seemed to take an hour or so. [It was only about 600 meters - it just takes a long time if you are dancing the whole way. - Maureen] The procession is fueled by marching band that consists of maybe 12-16 percussionists, gongs, congas, tom toms, an electric bass player and an electric organ player being pushed on a cart. The cart has a bench for him to sit on and the organ is amplified with conical sports arena looking LOUDSPEAKERS. The organ player was incredible and the music was truly trance inducing. It seems to be a pretty simple melody with crazy Mad Professor jam freak-outs and flourishes. As we go through the town everyone joins in young and old and everyone is dancing and laughing and strutting their way down the road. I dance with a lady wearing a hat made out of soymilk boxes. I dance with the village lady-boy and twirl him around. I drink some Rice Whiskey. I dance and dance and dance. A truly ecstatic experience. When we arrive at the Wat everyone has a meal underneath a big tent. By this time I'm feeling a little bit out of it. No sleep lots of whiskey hot sun and not much water. We go and take a bath and I take a nap on the tile floor at someone's house. [Uncle Li's house - he is a gruff 60ish man with a steel gray brush cut and a son who is a taxi driver. He was the first person I met in the village (during the Songkran trip) and is therefore, according to traditional rules of Thai hospitality, now and forever more responsible for our wellbeing whenever we come to the village. - Maureen] They wake me up for lunch, somtom, tripe salad, cucumber salad, roasted sweet pork, sticky rice, the usual. Mai (the son-in-law) then takes me on a tour of the village (I think to show off his new farrang friend), it is really nice and they have a little lake. We stop at a relative's house, I eat some fish and some durian (the worlds stinkiest fruit) and then we visit his uncle. His uncle makes sticky-rice whiskey and he offers me some. This stuff was more like a sweet and sour alcohol rice slurry as there are bits of rice floating around in it. Eating it was probably not dissimilar to drinking the vomit of a rice-eating baby. Maureen still thinks she can smell the stuff on me as it slowly leaches out of my skin. Uuuuuughghghck. [You could smell it for hours and hours and hours afterwards - I kid you not. - Maureen] Back at the house, I meet up with Maureen (she was out talking to some of the taxi drivers) and we need to go to the Wat to make our Tamboon. We have a little bucket of rice and an envelope with some money in it. On the way to the Wat in the distance the mad-organ-player-of-Isaan is still going and yes the procession is still going around the town. I get into the procession and dance until we arrive at the Wat (right around dusk). They are setting up for a Morlam Show (imagine if Liberace and Bugsby Berkley created a kind of country music that you could both cry into your beer over as well as dance to) at the Wat for later that night. Unfortunately, we had to go back before the Morlam. And before you know it we are back on a bus again (this one had air but no flashing lights or bongos) watching Catwoman with Halle Berry dubbed into Thai. Sleep. Eat Noodles. Sleep. Arrive at the Northern Bus Terminal at 5:10am - a mere 34 Hours after we left Bangkok.