Greetings Gazette Readers:

Please do not feel forgotten, and please accept our apologies for the time gap between the last two issues. The staff has been very busy with their studies, research and tour-guiding to groups of curious yet lovely Americans. We have also been very busy gathering stories and photographs (our photo gallery has QuickClickTechnologyTM), reviews and photographs for the Gazette. Please watch for the Special Songkhran Edition of the Gazette coming very very soon.
Late Breaking News: A nightmare came into my computer, and when I started typing stranger and stranger things happened. I spent hours and hours this way. It is now an instrument of terror. Play at our own risk. The more you type the deeper and deeper you get. (1-9, a-z) Check out the Ghost Thaipwriter today!
Mummies of Cannibals

A few weeks ago we went to the Siriaj Hospital Museum - Siriaj is one of the oldest hospitals in Bangkok I wasn't quite sure what to expect. The Museum has 5 sections: History of Traditional Thai Medicine, Forensic Museum, Museum of Parasitology, Museum of Pathology and an Anatomy Museum.

The hospital is located in Thonburi on the other side of the river, so you have to take a river bus/river taxi to get there. Siriaj is a huge complex there is a nice park in the middle of it where you can see families resting in the shade and eating. The signs and maps seem to be of differing ages (when the moved a building or department they updated some maps but not others). So it took a while to find the museum.

The Museum is on the second floor of the "anatomy building." Just get a visitor badge from the jolly security guard and go up to the second floor. When you see the parasite lab (be careful not to bump into anyone carrying around a "sample") take a right and you will see the museum entrance.

The museum entrance has a modern feeling with a nice reception area and with illuminated signs in the background. The reception area led me to think that the museum would be similar in style to the Mutter Medical Museum in Philadelphia (a well laid out museum with lots of information about the displays). However, the museum had the feeling of a circa 1964 high school biology storeroom run by a mad scientist.


Forensic Museum:

The first thing you come to in this museum is a enclosed glass bookcase filled with human skulls that all have either gunshot or knife wound holes in them. As you make your way around the museum you will see bones of those burned in automobile accident fires, a skull damaged by being pulled behind a bus, severed arms from industrial and auto accidents preserved in an amber like plastic (some with very interesting tattoos that are traditionally used as talismans against harm), weapons used in various crimes, ropes and wire used for suicide by hanging, evidence from various crime scenes, shirts with gunshot wounds, and some very old looking "marijuana."

In the evidence from crimes section there are 4 phone booth sized glass cases standing up. Inside of each case is a mummified corpse of a criminal. In the first one I looked at the corpse was "leaning forward" in the case such that his nose was pressed against the glass door making a greasy smudge. You could see that the weight of the corpse was opening the door slightly the latch straining against the lock. In one of the cases there is the mummified corpse of Zee-Oui a child-eating cannibal. There was a movie recently made by a Hong Kong studio about this case (the killer, not his mummy).

The other famous display contains the instruments and medical gowns used in the investigation of the murder of the brother of the current King.

It was a very intense experience being in that museum - and I definitely needed to turn away or not linger too long on some of the displays. What amazed me was the large number of school children there. One boy was making a pencil drawing of the skulls. There were also a very large number of Monks there as well, which makes sense to me in that one of the Buddhist practices is to contemplate the decay of the body in order to realize our mortality. There are 10 foul objects to contemplate - yes most of them seem to be available in this museum.


Ten foul objects:
1. Uddhumataka: a rotten, bloated corpse, its body all swollen and its features distended out of shape.
(Click here for the complete list. Warning! it is rather graphic)


Herbal medicine:

This museum had a display of a traditional Chinese apothecary shop complete with fiberglass "pharmacist." There were vintage remedy bottles and boxes and formulas for various medicines really beautiful to look at. There was also a display of traditional birthing practices (more fiberglass figures). One was of a woman holding onto a rope attached to the ceiling while squatting the mid-wife stands at the ready to catch the baby. Next to it is a woman sleeping next to a fire, traditionally a woman after giving birth is supposed to rest in front of a fire for 7 days.


Parasites:

This museum is mostly dioramas, enlarged plastic models of parasites, and more fiberglass figures, including a life-size figure of man who is suffering from elephantitis of the testicles (they are the size of large exercise balls) and he appears to be "resting" on them. There is a diorama of "village life" showing people eating and then suffering from the effects of raw pork. The figures are Barbie-sized and there are many things out of scale. That is a very large cat. That is a very large bottle of whiskey. That is a very small station wagon, etc.

The mosquito diorama is pretty good. It is of a campground (I think in West Virginia) the mosquito is about 3 times larger than the people. There is a tent, a motorcycle, a man and a woman wearing bandannas on their heads. I think there are beer bottles and cans as well.


Pathology:

The variety of disease and defects (in simple and extreme forms) of the human body are thoroughly explored in this museum.


Anatomy:

Located in another building this museum had nicer cases and a more serious medical school feeling. The displays seemed well organized grouped by systems. The building was a beautiful old building circa 1920s and the museum had a similar feel. On the way -up to the 4th floor you could kind of see into the medical school dissection rooms and could hear quiet voices and the clinking of instruments. The most interesting part to me were a series of skeletons in wooden phone booth cabinets with a photograph of the person "in life" at the top of each one.


Movie Reviews:
By popular demand the gazette staff is increasing its selection of movie reviews. The staff has been buying a large number of VCDs (video cds) of all kinds, including some old Indian movies dubbed into Thai. Though my Thai is much improved, I cannot claim 100% understanding of these films. For any errors in these reviews, I wish to apologize in advance to all of those those persons (living or dead) involved in the production and distribution of these films.

The Gazette Staff.

skeleton.jpgOur Friend Mr. Skeleton: (1984?)
They are building a new building near the Victory Monument here in Bangkok (where I take the bus to/from almost every day). While they are driving a pile into the ground it wakes up a skeleton down below. I think the skeleton used to work on the same building project as when he climbs out from "below" he seems to know everybody. Mr. Skeleton talks about being dead, hangs out, eats, drinks smokes, makes out with girls and goes up country to visit his family? There is a lot of physical humor, people falling down, hitting each other, food getting on them, and girls in short workout shorts. They throw a "birthday party?" for him and girls in birthday hats dance with him. At no point during the film do you feel unaware that the skeleton is a poorly manipulated puppet. Oh yeah, the skeleton has a very annoying "voice." Click the image to see the skeleton.




wolfdevilwoman.jpgWolf Devil Woman: (1985?)
This is actually a Chinese Movie dubbed into Thai but it has Chinese and Bad English subtitles. So as not to reveal too much about the film this review will only contain a summary of the first 10 minutes. We begin in some kind of psychedelic underworld with people in multicolored capes and pointy hats ready to take part in some kind of ritual. Next a shirtless kung fu fighting man is brought in nailed to a cross. He is put up on the stage. The head demon has a voodoo-like-doll made out of plastic clay that he sticks a pin into. (Cartoon blood-actually drawn /animated-squirts out of Kung Fu man's chest). He then sticks the figure into a large beaker of blue water and dried ice. Kung Fu man's head is warped in a scrolling video kind of way. BABY CRIES. Cut to a man and a woman in traditional Chinese costumes running through a snowy field. They have a baby wrapped in a yellow blanket. A group of ninjas magically appear wearing green-vampire-werewolf hybrid masks. The leader says (the first dialogue of the film) "You must come back to the underworld." Parents refuse, and decide that if they stab each other to death and bleed over the baby and at the same time cause an avalanche to bury themselves that the child's life might be spared. They do this. The vampire-werewolf ninjas try to dig them out of the snow. They pull out the dead parents. A pack of wolves appears. The ninjas decide to come back later (they are afraid of wolves). The wolves descend devour the dead bodies of the parents dig up the child, rescue it, and take it back to a crystal winter wonderland cave where they raise the child as one of their own. They feed it by dropping meat onto it. Whew...it will be impossible for me to either describe or for you to guess what happens next.


Restaurant reviews:


Geng Ba (Jungle Curry):
This is the second closest restaurant to our house. Because Geng Ba is traditionally illuminated (by very bright overhead fluorescent light bulbs) and has pink checked plastic table coverings, you know right away that the food is going to be good. Everyone comes here from taxi drivers to big haired (wigs?) Hi-So ladies in purple power suits to big family groups. There are two levels (air-con upstairs with perpetual "happy new year" banners) no air-con downstairs but you can see some garden like features and can listen to the motorcycles buzz around on the street. Try the roasted long green eggplant salad with shrimp, Red Fish Ball Curry! Chinese Greens with Salty Fermented Fish Bits - or yeah their specialty the Jungle Curry (a coconut milk free fiery soupy curry). Geng Ba appears to be a family owned and operated restaurant -- all of the apron and head scarf wearing staff have a family resemblance, and Maureen and I are certain that there are at least 2 sets of twins working there (didn't I just see you upstairs, etc).

Very Professional Noodles (not the real name):
I go here for lunch almost every day. I get the mixed fish ball thin noodle spicy soup. Really good. It is run by a Chinese-Thai Family. The Noodle master is all business, he knows its good really good and you don't need to thank him. He likes to wear white polo shirts (easier to see his big Buddha amulet). There is a big shrine up near the ceiling and there is a big collection of Buddha amulet images in a red lined case on the wall. He also has a very dusty but impressive collection of yet to be opened domestic and foreign bottles of liquor and beer. A Variety of Dim Sum is on offer as well as fresh wilted greens with pork in peanut sauce over rice. If you order a Pepsi they only have the big 16-20oz bottles so be sure to bring a friend.


My Chinese Uncle (not the real name):
When you approach "My Chinese Uncle" the first thing you see is my Chinese Uncle, the proprietor, head chef and big boss man. There is a big glass case in this open fronted restaurant that has a variety of dishes on platters and a big pile of fresh vegetables and fresh shellfish. And he always has some of the best slow boiled duck in town. You just tell Uncle what dishes you want (if they are already prepared) and what veg or shell you want and take a seat. Uncle is a large man with a thinning combover and an outtie belly button that you can see through his snug polo shirt. Though I'm not always sure what he is yelling to his collection of staff, Uncle must be in the running for the crabbiest man alive. "Table 3 needs their swamp cabbage!" "No they wanted beer, why do you bring them water!" "Can you see that this chair is wet! Wipe it down. NOW!" His son/nephew takes the abuse, laughing to himself. When you want your bill, Uncle grabs a tattered notepad and slowly lumbers over as if rising out of cave with terrible hangover . He growls out the numbers of the prices of the dishes and then arrives at the total, usually around $8 for two with beer. We try to go every Sunday.



Karaoke Restaurant No sign:
This is the closest restaurant to our house. It is right across the street from the Samsen Court compound. They do mostly Isaan Food: sticky rice, roasted chicken, clear curry, som tom, etc. Food is pretty good and it is very cheap. We go mostly for the people watching. The Standard is the Sixty-Something Slick-Back-Whiskey(100 Piper)-Drinking-Karaoke Man - this guy sits in the front near the Karaoke Juke Box. His voice brings your mind to a complete halt -- his mournful wobble can be heard for blocks. He sings these very long off-key ballads whose video accompaniment almost always features a young woman in more extremely odd rather than sexy outfit strolling through some of the worlds "great cities" Hello Venice! Hello Berlin! Hello Paris! Hello "Cairo!" We thought that there was going to be an incident when another guy (with a table out on the street) did one of SSSBW(100P)DKM's songs "Halloo Amsterdam." All OK though SSSBW(100P)DKM clapped a little too loudly following the song's completion and he quickly retrieved the microphone.