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Trip to the immigration office
Yes, it is December and yes 'tis the season for Visa Renewal. After making a trip up north past the airport (actually around the airport and then lost in a big university and then back up another highway) to the National Research Council to get our approval letter, we headed down south to Silom to get some photos taken and to visit the Bangkok Local 101 Immigration Office. The great thing about the immigration office is that there is a ten-foot-tall blue sign outlining all 8 steps (with er....several sub-steps) you will need to go through to get your visa. Stand in line. Find the right line. Stand in line. Get a form. Fill out the form on the purple and lavender chairs. Pick up a baby bottle. Laugh at white guys with wrestler hair and Samurai pants. Pay $50 each. Glue your picture to the back of the form. The office has some of the best glue in Thailand. It is hard to find as it is hiding inside of a half cut open plastic drinking water bottle and it has a plastic knife for spreading the glue. The glue is very sticky and smells like artificial watermelon flavoring. Whew. Ok so we finally make it up to the SECOND LEVEL. The room for Researchers and I guess other misc. FREAKS. It's pretty serious inside room 203. There are 7 metal desks lined up. Pol. Gen. Maj. Col. Surachai (name on the name plate) is on the far left (most serious looking) down to two women in black Members Only type jackets with silver stars on their epilates. Pol. Gen. Maj. Col. Surachai is about 60 and is wearing chameleon (changes shade under different light conditions) General(TM) shades and has a old style 5 1/4 floppy disk sized Lego block of multicolored pips. After a wait we get our turn. It's all business, and after a trip down to the 1st floor to get some more photo-copies of our passports, we get Pol. Gen Maj. Sgt. Chatchai (3rd from the left); he puts a stamp labeled "ONE STOP SERVICE" on our applications. That's when it begins to get weird. Maybe through our own nervousness and desire to please the Pol. Gen, etc. we did not notice the "problems" the others were having with this procedure. A Sample). Two Germans who "were sent the wrong form in the mail" and that is why "they have overstayed their visa" for over 200 days (there is a $5 fine per day for overstaying). They call their French friend Louise on their mobile phone. They give the phone to the officer. Next thing, they are in the back office with the department head (he has a gun) and two officers (in white). It is a micro seminar in European / Thai body language and gestures. They are given a form to fill out. The department head returns to his new laptop to surf the internet. I imagine that the Germans will be visiting Laos very soon to get a re-entry permit. A Note to the English guy with the "Australian wife who was working illegally for a international school" maybe next time you should wear your baseball cap directly on your head rather than having your greasy black pony tail hanging out the back? So, we are standing in a final line with "ONE STOP SERVICE" on our applications. In front of us is an Italian in a suit with hip eyeglasses. He has a see-through folder that contains his documents and several 8 x10 sheets filled with small pictures of himself. Standing in front of him is Kevin, the Australian, and he's INSANE. If you are enjoying the Bangkok Gazette in the United States I hope you like Injera bread, because according to Kevin , America will be the Ethiopia of North American within 15 years. (Whatever that means??). The writer will not bore you (drill) with a complete account of Kevin's various Geo-Political and Economic Theories. The writer will break it down for you though, when Kevin really broke it down for us. Kevin's had been "all over China" "Lecturing" and "visiting friends." When Maureen asked Kevin where he'd been: He broke into a Johnny Cash style "I've been everywhere" rap: Kevin: "I went from Bejing to Harbin, Harbin to XingJu, XingJu to a small town outside of XingJu I can't remember it's name right now, ok whatever XingJu to Shanghai, Shanghai to Tsing Tao, Tsing Tao to ... etc." This went on for about 3 minutes with dramatic pauses (thought it was over) and some rhythmic facial twitches. We sign off from Kevin, and though he tries very hard, we avoid further eye contact (the bridge to VERBAL communication) until we say "goodbye" as he leaves the office. Now we are meeting with the ladies in the members only jackets. We thought that they were just going to stamp our passports, but in reality they were there to GRILL you. Pretty smart. "So where are you working?" they ask me straight off. "I'm not working. I'm writing a book." Good answer. No real problems because of the letter from the National Research Counsel, but it is still pretty scary. I don't think that the Germans will ever make it this far. We get our stamp and are free of such hassles until the end of May. Employee Appreciation Day: As Bangkok has very little urban planning, living quarters can be right next to industry. Take Rang Nam, our street for example. A list of shops might go something like, Kang's Seafood Restaurant, Auto Battery Recycling Shop, Upholstery shop for mini vans, Noodle shop, Pharmacy, Auto repair shop, Cardboard Recycling Plant, 7-11, PVC piping shop, etc, etc One alley over is a big print shop (they do mostly 4-color posters I think). Anyway strung across the alley was a big movie screen, they had an ancient 35mm projector hooked up to AC/DC concert level speakers. The employees got some posters and were lying on the ground watching the movie and making the crab fried rice and noodle lady very happy. As we had a dinner date, we did not stay for the film, fortunately it was still going on when we got home. It was a ghost/horror movie. The last hour of the film (12-1am) was, as far as I could make out from inside of our apartment, mostly screaming and a variety of ghost sounds. It was very loud. When I closed my eyes, it was easy for me to imagine the Acid Mother's Temple (Japanese experimental rock band) were giving a private concert outside of my window while flying around on jet packs. Whisky Tree: Next to the park in my neighborhood is a big tree. I think it is a Buddha leaf tree, as it is wrapped in multi colored scarves and people seem to leave little figures and tokens around it. The other day while passing it, I noticed a man standing behind the tree, hiding, not peeing. He noticed that I saw him and then smiling, revealed that he was drinking some rice whisky. He began to laugh. Though friendly, he seems a bit lost to this world, yet content in his wanderings. I saw him the other day. He wanted to touch my arm, and he did and then laughing he headed back to the tree, his sanctuary I suppose. The Squirter:  There are lots of obstacles and dangers to the pedestrian in Bangkok. Very low power lines, uneven pavement, sleeping dogs, makeshift restaurants that block the sidewalk, etc. But nothing is worse than The Squirter. The Squirter is a street stone that when stepped on will eject a large amount of black foul smelling liquid onto your foot, leg, etc. The Squirter in our neighborhood seems to move around, so you never know exactly where it is. Sometimes water pooling up around the stone will be an indicator, sometimes not.
Muzak and Noise:  There is a whole world of sound here. I hadn't really noticed the large amount of public speakers in open spaces, the sky train, parks, and the obvious ones like in shopping malls, until the last week or so when "Holiday Music" began coming out of the speakers. Most of this music must be made by the same group of screeching seven year olds. Some of the tapes sound old and have a warble to them. It makes you want to stab your ears with knitting needles. The only recent respite from the Holiday Cheer was in the Toyku Department store Grocery, where they were playing Nick Cave's "Murder Ballads."
Herbal Whisky Update Went back to the herbal whisky stand. And this time with a camera. Took a photo of the three formulas and tried another one, pretty good. Next to the stand is a table where some of Rang Nam's many motorcycle taxi drivers like to hang out. There were drinking the stuff and were snacking on dried squid and pickled chicken feet. They wanted their photo taken and were impressed with my ability to down the stuff and I had a quick extra shot with them. "Me Thailand, You...." "Ma Jacque America" I said. They began to laugh and clap. Very good. They offered me some snacks but I was pretty full already and said I would return another time. Now whenever I pass (day or night) they shout and call me over to join them. Herbal Whisky Exposed! Thanks to Mo for a translation of the formulas their names and their "effects / uses." Maureen would like to say that these are only rough translations. 
The writer's note to Cafe Trio: Though it might seem to be a good idea to have a Zen rock garden (rocks of various sizes) in your bathroom entry way and bathroom itself, it makes for a pretty bumpy ride. I was also surprised that though Thailand has a very large number of otherwise useless bathroom attendants (I don't need a back rub when I'm trying to pee), that this is one case where having someone to steady or to warn you might come in handy. Until next time. Next Issue: Mo's report + more x-mas tack! |